What makes your child happy? Have you ever tried asking your child? Have you sought the answer from them or is it their usual happy-go-lucky behavior that influences your thoughts on their happiness? Are the factors that made us happy the same as those that make or have made our preceding generations happy? A few questions to reflect and introspect!!!
We have oftentimes come across parents who believe they can compensate for the hours they are at work, catching up with friends or going on tours by buying clothes and expensive gadgets for their children. There are some parents who seek the services of the best day care facility in town or hire a nanny with a very caring and loving demeanor.
There are coaching classes and schools who promise the parents to make a home away from home for stipulated hours a day for their children. Doting parents as they are running on a guilt trip most times, they end up paying high fees!
Parenting is no cakewalk. Introspection certainly helps give our children the happy life they deserve. Most of us are now at a phase where we look back at the golden days we spent as children and recall how beautiful our childhood was! The experience for most of us was nothing but amazing. Wasn’t it?
What plays a pivotal role in parenting is communication! Children should feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas with parents. They should feel at ease to voice out what stresses them. Perhaps, this will make for a happy generation.
And… when parents are going through a stress ride, children may catch on the vibes too. It is important to keep stress at bay when talking to children. When parents ignore children and their voices, the young ones often get irritable and aggressive by nature.
Our past may have been beautiful; listening to folklore and stories of the dragon or the big brave boy from our grandparents must have been fun. We derived most of our morals and values from these stories. Our playtime was not confined to a mere few gadgets. Playtime for us included pebbles and marbles alongside some amazing toys and the newly-launched video games too. However, the time is now different. We cannot expect our children to sit under trees playing marbles and pebbles when other kids of their generation are racing with time. Teaching them values to admire nature and its bounties through nature walks or eco activities is one thing while imposing on what to play and what not because we played some game that filled our days with glee may not be the right thing.
Let your child learn through their own experiences. Do not let them comprehend situations through your experiences. It does not matter how your efforts went in vain and you were still not able to crack that riddle or solve that puzzle; this in no way means your child should stay from these. What may have been a distraction for you could become a great engagement for your child.
So, let us leave our children to enjoy living in the present. The joys of the times we had can always be shared and cherished.
To err is but human! Accept the fact even in the case of children. Do not always find faults with what they do and how they do too. If your child did not score well in the recent class test or spilt the glass of milk because he didn’t hold it tight does not make him useless or careless or a good-for-nothing. Refrain from calling out your child with these negative terms. Remember, we are all learning and how we approach our children and make them learn through their experiences is utmost important.
Being a parent does not give one the authority to talk to children at the top of their voice always. We can all be loving towards each other. If your child does not want to show his talent at Math to your guests, reprimanding him and imposing on him in a tone thus - “I am your parent; you have to solve the puzzle for our guests because I say so”, is just not the right thing to do. The more loving you are, the happier your children will be.
Research has shown children ask almost a 100 questions on a single day. When they do not find answers to their questions, it adds to their confusion and stress. You can expect your child to not ask your questions when you are busy with work. Perhaps, you may request your child to allow you to get back to him with an answer they have been seeking. For food for thought, you may provide a point or two and explain in detail later. Does honking cause pollution? Yes! The “why and how” [art can be explained later. Sometimes, we need to think like a child to be able to understand their knowledge requirements.
Also, without much ado, we say a strict No to comparison. These may sound like all that we already know. Again, what looks like an old practice may feel all new depending on a certain situation. Simply put, your child is unique in their own ways. Love them, adore them, appreciate them, engage with them and involve yourself in their life just the way you must; the world will be a happier place for our dear children.